I questioned whether the good deeds I've done have actually made a positive difference to the human race, etc. etc. all that spiritual crap. Then I questioned why these bad things kept on happening to me, and especially my sister. Now I don't bother because there's no use in torturing myself with the ideas of spirituality. I accept them as shit that just happen to people.
My sister felt guilty. My mother pitied me for two days. And my father told me to suck it up. Shit happens. Van bought me food cause she felt sorry for me. Sometimes, I allow myself to feel sorry for me too.